Having SHIT for breakfast

So these passed few days I've been thinking to myself strongly about how my life's direction is going. I fucked up my first junior simester of school and will now have to make up some classes this upcoming Summer.

Looking back at this Simester I'd say I was shit, not my life, not my well being, but me myself was a piece of shit trying to take a pipe that didnt lead to a sewage treatment center.

And for those of you who don't understand the analogy I was dazing my way every week without doing the shit i was suppose to, hoping to see a light at the end of this tunnel we call high school.

I hated myself for these periods knowing that not doing work doesn't get you shit.... No not literal shit but prize shit the "shit" that you want out of life, whether it being:
the girl of your dreams, that really fucking awesome party that you wanted to go to, or just that simple outing with friends..., oh and money... that too..

Taking Initiative

This present week I started to take responsibilty and show initiative for the shit i want and what i want is a life worth fucking living for I'm tired of being a lazy ass im tired of people just assuming that i really purposely in all of my life have never done anything to be worthy of my current position in school.

I used to be a straight "A" student then that guy turned into a straight "A-B" student which is pretty okay and that faggot turned into an "A-C" student are you seeing a pattern here? and that bitch degraded himself into the grounded piece of diamond that is so small people don't fucking care...

Why Diamond? The diamond representing that once shining luster that was fucking cut, shitted on, bitch slapped, and still remained like 24 karats , So God walked by and realized hey.... this isn't right, and used his godly godness to fuck it to the value it should be, thus Lance...

And for those of you my so call um "journal readers" which is only like 12 out of my main friend on DA, I thank you for putting up with my shit.. but i donno if i was you and even if i lived in another country I'd fly in a plane come to my house and beat the crap out of my shitty ass for being such a dumbass (LANCE RANTS MORE TO HIMSELF)

... okay that's over

Read this Bonnie cause i know you are...

I quote "I am not Gay, and I never have been gay" from that one recent "gay scandal" this year. I don't even know how i tricked myself to stay and go through with it but im not! no! never...!

I lied to you, not only you, evryone, and I am sorry, The truth is... I just didn't feel right for you, like i knew i would fuck up this second chance, and so when I saw us getting close together again i just squashed that thought the fastest way i could... and knowing that you read my journals posted "Im Gay"

In doing so, my initial intent was for you just to be happy,for us, just to be friends again...

And then you found another, I relly was happy for you, but inside something didn't feel quite right, as if something unfinished was eating me inside out trying to kill me just to finish it off. (lol.. Double K.O.!!)

The truth is i still like you, and i always will, unless of course you tell me otherwise
i will remain persistant with this ,burning passion, this determination inside my heart, to attain you, a true beauty, The girl of my dreams

And so The obvious question-
Will you go out with me again, Will you give this persistant piece of shit a shot at redemption?

If you do i promise that you won't regret this decision i will show you i have changed and i will give you the boyfriend you deserve, one who treats you how a woman wants her man to treat her, instead of being that big plush toy constantly worn out by a little kid.

and if not.. well then that's how it is and the fault is all mine, but know this, I don't want you to take me back based on pitty only do it because you want to.


Oh and How About that Mile Marker

I passed my Drivers Permit test that i've been putting off for about half a year now, something to prove that i wanna get out of this "shit shell" that ive created for myself, and you bitches that can't drive or don't have a permit i will rub this in your fcking face jk I love you all

Oh and also my mom found me a nice 05 lexus and though nor my favorite car or even the one i wanted i'm happy that it's something at least

Im glad im getting a car so i can finally be like one of those guys in the movies and call it "my baby"

HURRR fucking RAY!!!!!

"SHIT" Count

The word "shit" was used a number of thirteen times inthis journal

(for past journal curse word counts please consult Lance)